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"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the. You can't believe how mad she becamewhen I told her $400. She completely lost it and began hitting me andscreaming that I was wasting her money because, at that time, I didn'teven have a job. Truth be told, I was using her money for my littleexploits." I completely sympathize with her. I would have been pissed too. How didyou get her to calm down?" I didn't have any luck getting her to calm down. She actually wouldn'ttalk to me for two weeks and then one night she came home with a smile onher. . my main bed on the bus.“Well, the war spun out of control for a while. The Nazis didn’t give up easily. They went down swinging, furiously, even desperately seeking deals with every faction available to hold their sector for the ‘master race.’ Some supermen they turned out to be. In the end, the last of them were rounded up, shot, and burned, ashes spread rather than buried. We didn’t want any memorials to them, you know.“After that, well, the violence didn’t stop. The SS were barely cremated. " I said."I don't! The doctor confirmed it, I'm still a virgin." She cried."I don't get it then." I said. "How far along is she?" A few weeks, at least. I'd have to run some blood tests to make sure but based on her last period, and when ovulations should've taken place roughly two weeks or so ago." She said."Positive pregnancy test though?" I asked."Yes." The doctor said. "And with no boyfriend, she isn't sure how it happened." It hit me right then."Doc, I know this is farfetched but..." I.
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